Frequently Asked Questions
I’m not sure I can afford this.
I totally get this. And, I see this work as an educational investment in yourself and your future relationships. Depending on your current situation, I would encourage you to explore what it may cost your health, quality of life and income to not receive support.
The average divorce in the U.S. costs between $15,000 and $20,000 and 31% of couples divorce because of issues with intimacy. Which I believe speaks to our culture at large. While you don’t need to be partnered to do this work, we do live in a relational world where intimacy is present even in everyday interactions.
In my professional anexperience, most people:
· haven’t learned the skills to communicate effectively, especially about things of an intimate and vulnerable nature
· don’t have the capacity to be with and navigate conflict
· are repressed sexually which impacts their overall health
· are auto-functioning in distressing relationships that don’t resource them
· don’t know how to make agreements
· don’t know how to express needs and desires in a way that can be heard
· don’t know how to respond to needs and desires appropriately
Despite these facts, I invite you to consider your personal experience - just how many individuals and couples do you see in your community that seem genuinely good, that still have this glow and ease about them? I look everyday when I’m out and about. And most people look somewhere between miserable and just getting by. Or completing faking it. I want more for you and more for our world.
All this said, I do my best to allow ease of access to my work by creating a container that works for your budget. I see this work as an educational investment in you and your future relationships that has incredible value and potential.
I’m not sure I have enough time in my life for this, it seems like I have so much work to do!
I guide clients into setting up a reasonable schedule for themselves to stay on track outside of session. I also provide a structure and practices for you explore new ways of being that ultimately create lasting change. Depending on how you would like to see your work with me integrated into your life, I have seen time and again how effective even ten minutes a day can be.
And of course, as we’ve all heard, new habits need 21 days to become part of who we are. And this is why the minimum container I offer is for one month. I want you to succeed. Serving your success is one of my greatest pleasures!
How is this work going to help me, what happens in sessions?
I never thought I’d say this, but after doing this work for many years, I looove structure as much as I looove intuition! The process I created for my 1:1 work is the structure and way I fill it in is by following my intuition as well as yours!
The structure has two parts. First, we focus on what’s in the way - what ways of being are old and outdated and could use a good cleaning out. We want a clear and solid foundation. No building on shaky ground.
Next, we begin to build new ways of being, brick by brick, practicing the skills needed in the areas you are looking to grow ease and mastery.
I intuitively draw from a variety of tools every step of your process to support you. These tools are invitations, meaning - you are always encouraged to speak up if you need something different and I will always titrate the practice until we find what’s just right for you. Presencing consent, choice/voice, personal agency and working with your learning zone are core tenants of my work. Always.
These tools are somatic practices that you will also work with on your own outside of session. This is so, sooo important. Resistance, lack of space or time to practice outside of session is also, part of the work. But not to worry, we will also tend to that with love, care and a reality check so you can succeed. I am an expert at finding ways to build a practice into the busyness of everyday life.
I’ve tried so many other things, what if this doesn’t work for me?
I hear your frustration and I totally get it. Over the years I have tried many things in service of a goal and never ever have I found that one thing was the thing! It all got woven together into a beautiful tapestry that at some point was big enough to hold me in feeling like I had arrived at my desired destination.
But “arriving” is probably about .01% of our human experience. And if you are anything like me, I get very impatient with that reality. I find that slowing down to enjoy the process, all the while holding our goal or intention lightly is extremely valuable. The warrior’s way. And we probably all have heard something like, when we loosen our grip and stop trying so damn hard to figure things out, it tends to come to us much easier.
Now for my practical answer - because of the educational nature of this work, you will have skills and tools that you can keep practicing with, which will support your long-term success. Celebrating small wins along the way – creating a positive feedback loop – trains your brain to keep going. So, I see things “not working” as a result oftentimes of us not sticking with it long enough – we didn’t fully arrive halleluiah – yet we had small arrivals along the way that we didn’t install in our neurobiology to keep going.
Lastly, a lot of us think we are eternally broken or unworthy of what we desire. So each time something “doesn’t work,” it further enforces this belief system. But it is the belief system that needs our focus first. Without loving attention to this fundamental operating system, no amount of work is going to create change. Which is why the first part of my process, as I spoke to above, is preparing the foundation, by looking at anything that’s in the way.
What are some characteristics of the people that experience your offerings?
Clear intentions for their work
Ample self-awareness, oftentimes engaging in a spiritual practice
Open to discovery of new possibilities
Ability to be honest with oneself
Experience with traditional talk therapy and now looking for a somatic approach
Willing to discover, challenge and heal limiting beliefs
Ready to integrate what they learn into daily life
Not looking to be fixed, but rather for a space and guide that is “safe enough” for trust and self-healing to occur
Where do your offerings take place?
Rochester, NY and the Columbia River Gorge (Washington and Oregon), the two locations where I spend most of my time.
How can I prepare for my retreat?
Enjoying a light meal prior and some fresh air and movement is highly recommended.
Do not arrive under the influence of recreational drugs or alcohol. If you require the usage of a psychoactive medicine of any kind, like marijuana or certain pain medications, please inform us of that prior to, so that we can best support you. If we require any such usage, we will also inform you of such.
Do not smoke beforehand; the smell is very difficult for us.
How can I integrate after the offering?
Taking some time to stay "unplugged" and tuned in to yourself is wise. Much can be revealed in the time afterwards, as your system is processing and integrating. I recommend drinking plenty of water, having some fresh air and a nourishing meal.
Do you take insurance?
No, I do not accept insurance.
Do you offer tantra?
While my offerings are at times informed by tantric philosophy and teachings, it is not true tantra or neo-tantra as most often practiced in the west.